I
lost myself in an ocean of emotions, that brought forth suchlike
water from my eyes. My pillow drenched, I had sobbed until I could
sob no longer, I felt intoxicated, though I did not how it felt to be
so. No other thought could I grasp, but that I did not wish to marry
this man I did not know of. My mind battled my heart on what I had
been taught, moving me to want to accept this gentleman. But my mind
felt dull. I could not have confidence in a decision made while I
was so emotionally distraught.
In
the distance, I heard the knocking on my door. But my body did not
react. It remained motionless on my cot. Soon I gave way to a deep
sleep.
The
sun rays that fell across my face did not wake me. Nor did the smells
of breakfast being prepared bring to wake. It was the nauseating
sounds that came from warships in the distance. This was also what
brought me to a decision.
I
did not await Miss Mildreds's usual arrival. I hurriedly dressed into
a day frock and took my hair up into a top-knot. After preparing a
note for my father, I set out to accomplish my resolve.
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